


it was there (i saw it in your eyes)

by reciprolouis



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Coming Out, Fluff, Gen, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Self-Discovery, The X Factor Era, ish?, some - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-01
Updated: 2017-06-01
Packaged: 2018-11-07 19:04:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11065212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reciprolouis/pseuds/reciprolouis
Summary: harry comes out + louis realizes some things





	it was there (i saw it in your eyes)

Louis was confused. 

Earlier in the evening, Harry - sweet, wonderful, charming Harry, his new best friend - had called a meeting with the four other boys. 

Louis had been worried at first, afraid that Harry was too anxious to go on, scared that Harry didn't think he was good enough. Which wasn't true, Harry was great, the best. 

But that wasn't the reason for the meeting. No, it was much bigger than that. 

"Alright, so... I have something to tell you guys, I guess," Harry started. Louis noticed his hands trembling slightly as he looked down at them, wringing them and pulling his fingers back to hear a satisfying crack. 

"I... I'm gay," Harry said. Louis' heart stopped for a second, at once relieved that Harry wasn't leaving him, proud of Harry for being able to tell them this, and nervous for himself. Harry cautiously looked up through his eyelashes, and Louis caught his eye. Harry smiled softly, but still looked wary. 

Liam took a deep breath, Zayn nodded, Niall launched himself toward Harry for a hug, and Louis sat frozen in his seat. 

"And if any of you have a problem with it -" 

"It's cool, Harry," Zayn said before the younger boy could finish. The other two boys nodded. Louis still couldn't move. 

He blinked. He was overwhelmed with how fond he felt toward Harry in this moment, but something was still eating at him. 

After taking a deep breath, he regained his voice enough to say, "I'm proud of you, Haz," and pull him into his side. He kissed his curls and inhaled the scent of his shampoo - coconut and vanilla. Harry had smiled, cuddled into the embrace. Liam suggested they watch a movie, and while Harry Potter played on the TV, Harry fell asleep against Louis. The other boys went to bed soon after, but Louis stayed wrapped up with Harry on the sofa. 

And now Louis was questioning everything. Harry, his best friend, was gay. And Louis - well, he's spent years trying to convince himself he was straight. He never dated anyone seriously, never even kissed anyone. He never really, truly bothered to cover anything up, he supposes. He told himself he just wasn't interested, dating just wasn't for him yet. But the lingering feeling he had in the back of his mind was ignored. But now, he had Harry. And Harry was younger than him, and gay, and open about it, and Louis was overwhelmed. 

"Lou?" Harry whispered. Louis hadn't even realized he was awake. 

"Yeah, Haz?"

"Thanks. For - you know, not being weird about it."

Louis nodded, pulled the smaller boy closer toward him. "Of course," he said. Why was it so much easier to accept other people? 

"My mum knows. And Gemma. And my friends back home. And I'm cool with it, proud even, but telling new people..."

Louis nodded again. "It's okay, Haz."

Harry fell back asleep, his mouth slightly open and small snores coming out. He was nearly drooling. Louis smiled. _His boy._

While Harry slept at his side, Louis continued thinking. Maybe being gay wasn't such a bad thing. For him, he means, of course it wasn't for other people. Harry had the courage to be himself, and he wished he had that. But maybe he could. 

Louis barely slept that night. He felt an entire range of emotions - pride, bravery, sadness, confusion. By the time the sun began rising, he thought he'd had it figured out. Giving himself time to actually think through his identity, it turns out, led to some conclusions. Conclusions that were really right there in the open but that he'd been too scared to approach. But now he had Harry. And Harry was unapologetically himself. 

Harry stirred at his side, blinking his eyes open as day broke. Louis smiled again - anything Harry does, it seemed, was enough to elicit joy in Louis. 

"G'morning, Lou," Harry mumbled. He stretched his legs and arms out, nearly knocking Louis in the face with a fist, but Louis' smile wasn't erased. 

"Morning, love," Louis said, then hesitated. 

"What's up, Lou?" Harry frowned, studying Louis' face with a concerned and furrowed brow. "Did you sleep? You look awful. No offense."

Louis snorted lightly, but quickly quieted himself when he remembered what he was about to do. 

"Yeah, I didn't sleep much. Was thinking..."

Harry looked back at him with curious eyes, urging him to continue. 

"Well. I think, maybe, that I... I might be gay too? I mean, you were talking last night and for a while I-"

Harry's eyes widened briefly, but then his face softened and he wrapped his arms around his friend and squeezed before Louis could finish his sentence. 

"It's okay, Lou," he whispered. "It's alright." He wiped Louis' face of a tear Louis hadn't realized was there. 

"I guess it's my turn to thank you, now," Louis sniffled. 

Harry grinned.

**Author's Note:**

> last night i was really emotional about louis writing home and had to get something down


End file.
